- Years in practice
- 11
- Registration
- NCPS
- Languages
- English
- Focus
- Stress, Anxiety
- Focus
- Relationship issues
- Focus
- Grief
About Toby
Toby Messer is a counsellor who combines practical strategies with deeper understanding. He focuses on helping people change patterns that cause stress, anxiety, low mood, relationship strain and parenting challenges. Toby uses a clear, problem-solving style that aims for useful progress in day-to-day life.
He draws on cognitive behavioural tools to help people spot and shift unhelpful thoughts and habits. He also uses attachment-based ideas to look at how early relationships shape current patterns.
Background and approach
This mix lets him address both immediate coping and the underlying reasons people repeat the same mistakes. Toby has 11 years of experience and holds NCPS as a credential. He works with issues including grief, addiction, self-esteem, intimacy concerns, eating and sleeping problems, and career stress.
Parenting is one of the areas he supports, helping parents manage stress and difficult moments. Sessions can focus on practical skills, emotional understanding, or both. Conversations tend to be direct and reflective, with steps you can try between meetings.
He adapts the approach to what each person finds helpful, balancing short-term tools with longer reflections. He offers work in English and accepts international clients. Online formats are available including video calls, phone sessions, live chat and text messaging.
To begin, users complete a short matching questionnaire and schedule according to availability.
What Toby works with
Everything Toby lists, in their own terms. Parenting is the reason this directory exists; the rest shows what else Toby helps people with.
- Stress, Anxiety
- Relationship issues
- Grief
- Self esteem
- Depression
- Addictions
- LGBT
- Family conflicts
- Trauma and abuse
- Intimacy-related issues
- Eating disorders
- Sleeping disorders
- Parenting issues
- Anger management
- Career difficulties
- Bipolar disorder
- Coping with life changes
- Coaching
- Compassion fatigue
- ADHD
- Abandonment
- Aging and geriatric issues
- Antisocial personality
- Attachment issues
- BDSM, kink, and alternative sex culture
- Blended family issues
- Body image
- Cancer
- Caregiver issues and stress
- Chronic pain, illness, and disability
- Codependency
- Commitment issues
- Communication problems
- Control issues
- Coping with natural or human-caused disaster
- Dependent personality
- Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD)
- Dissociation
- Divorce and separation
- Domestic violence
- Drug and alcohol addiction
- Eating and food-related issues
- Emptiness
- Family of origin issues
- Family problems
- Fatherhood issues
- Fertility issues
- First responder issues
- Forgiveness
- Gender dysphoria
- Guilt and shame
- Hoarding
- Hospice and end-of-life counselling
- Impulsivity
- Infidelity
- Isolation / loneliness
- Jealousy
- Life purpose
- Men's issues
- Midlife crisis
- Veteran and Armed Forces Issues
- Money and financial issues
- Mood disorders
- Multicultural concerns
- Narcissism
- Obsessions, compulsions, and OCD
- Panic disorder and panic attacks
- Paranoia
- Personality disorders
- Phobias
- Polyamory / non-monogamous relationships
- Postpartum depression
- Post-traumatic stress
- Pregnancy and childbirth
- Process addiction (porn, exercise, gambling)
- Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
- Self-harm
- Self-love
- Sex addiction
- Sexual assault and abuse
- Sexual dysfunction
- Sexuality
- Social anxiety and phobia
- Trichotillomania
- Workplace issues
- Young adult issues
Approaches Toby lists
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
- Attachment-Based Therapy
- Client-Centred Therapy
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
- Existential Therapy
- Jungian Therapy
- Mindfulness Therapy
- Motivational Interviewing
- Psychodynamic Therapy
- Solution-Focused Therapy
- Trauma-Focused Therapy
- Systemic Therapy
Listing an approach is not evidence of training in it. This directory copies what each counsellor names and does not check training records.
How Toby's approaches work online
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT, helps people clarify what matters most to them and take small steps toward those values. It is useful for anxiety, low mood and stress when you want practical ways to act despite difficult feelings.Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT, focuses on spotting unhelpful thoughts and changing habits that keep problems going. It suits people needing tools to manage anxiety, sleeping and eating issues, or mood changes.
Finding the right approach is part of the work. Toby will talk with clients about their goals and preferences and choose methods together. That makes sessions collaborative and tailored rather than a one-size-fits-all plan.
Online therapy with video calls, phone, live chat or text messaging gives flexibility. Video lets you see non-verbal cues and work in real time. Phone sessions can fit into a short break or use less bandwidth. Live chat and text help with quick check-ins, written reflections and ongoing support between calls. These options make it easier to fit therapy around work, family and travel while keeping the focus on practical progress.
Questions people ask about Toby
What kinds of problems does Toby help with?
Toby works with a wide range of concerns such as stress, anxiety, depression, grief, addictions, self-esteem, relationship and intimacy issues, eating and sleeping problems, anger and career worries. He also supports people dealing with parenting strain, ADHD, bipolar mood issues and trauma-related difficulties.
What is Toby's therapeutic style?
His approach is practical and analytical. He blends behaviour-focused techniques with attention to relational patterns, so sessions include both coping skills and exploration of underlying causes.
How long has he been practising?
He has 11 years of experience working in psychotherapy and counselling settings, combining short-term interventions with deeper work where helpful.
Where is Toby based and what credential does he hold?
He is based in the United Kingdom and holds NCPS as a listed credential.
Which languages are supported for sessions?
Sessions are offered in English.
What session formats are offered?
Therapy is available through video calls, phone sessions, live chat, and text-based messaging to suit different schedules and communication preferences.
How does pricing work for sessions?
Cost varies with location and therapist availability; sessions use a subscription model that can be cancelled at any time.
How do I start working with him?
Begin by selecting the Start Therapy button, completing a short matching questionnaire, and then scheduling sessions according to the therapist's availability.
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